“Jacked Up”

I encourage you to read about the October Synchroblog theme “Down We Go” by clicking this link  before continuing to read this post.  Please explore the links to other bloggers participating in the October Synchroblog (at the bottom of this post).  Those links will allow you to “listen in”,  follow and comment on the “cyber-conversation” as other bloggers participate in writing about this month’s topic. The October challenge seems like a gigantic, multi-tiered party cake! Who knows what’s under the icing? If we take one slice at a time we’ll surely taste something of the Lord Jesus Christ in each writer’s portion.

photo by prpmbd1050 via PhotoRee


Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!” (Lyrics from Phantom of the Opera)


It didn’t start in the age of  Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  Of course we want to think Dr. Ruth or Dr. Phil can somehow silence that “inner voice” which tells us there’s something wrong with us and we need to “get our act together” before everyone finds out.  I suspect it all started long before advice columnists in newspapers…before newspapers…before the printing press…just…”before”.  Perhaps it started with two naked people and some fig leaves—two people who were silly enough to think God would never find them?  Wherever it started , “it” is definitely there.  Yes…it must have started long, long ago.  I think Jesus may have been commenting on our “advice columnist” mentality with that remark about getting the beam out of my own eye before I presume to help you with the speck in yours. The knowledge that we lack “put togetherness” is behind the invention of masks and advice columns, you know. “Truth”. (High Five…or whatever cool people do…Amen?)

The Oprah Generation has a call on their lives! “Gather around the television set, all you broken folks out there in TV land. We know about your mask and we’ll help you with the problem as you sit there in the privacy of your own homes. And we’ll make it simple. See…it’s like this…just repeat after me ‘I’m Okay and You’re Okay’.”  Okay…I feel better, don’t you? “Okay-ness” is so highly valued and now we’ve got it. “Okay” is the new mask, but that’s “okay”, right? I’m not trying to be flip. I’m not denying the genuine need for legitimate psychological help in some cases, or the benefit of legitimate and responsible counseling. But isn’t it interesting where people hiding behind masks will turn in an effort to keep the mask in place while they move “upward” toward some non-existent point in their journey of “self help” when the mask will become unnecessary?

Listen carefully…

what you are about to hear…

is the sound of a mask hitting the floor. No, I don’t actually wear this thing anymore–not with you, Dear Reader. I just keep it handy to remind me God looks on the heart. The world sees me the way the world “sees”. And I won’t argue the world needs an eye exam. I’m every bit as broken and ruined and hopeless as the world thinks I am. The world sees what the balance on my bank account says (or, to be honest, DOESN’T say). The world sees the pile of unfinished projects, the short attention span, and the long string of broken, messed up relationships. The world sees…well…the world just sees…me. Before you rush to my defense, let me clarify…the absence of Christ in that assessment isn’t an indicator of “low self-esteem” on my part. It’s an absence of “Christ esteem” on the world’s part. If we truly esteem Christ, He helps us see others with His eyes…and we begin to see others as made in God’s image. So, if you felt a desire to rush to my defense, then you’re seeing me the way I know He does and you esteem Him…so, “we’re all good here”. Better than just “okay”.  You and I, well…we see each other and we know how to look for Him in each other.  Therefore, let’s assume we really are ready to go “down” this road together.

By the way, “me” is pretty much everyone.  Absent the presence of Christ, everyone in the world has a tendency to see everyone else as having the problem and to see self as “okay”…as long as no one comes up and rips off the mask. I don’t have to be completely “put together” as long as my “put togetherness” exceeds my “fallen- apartness” and, of course, your “put togetherness”.

“Woe to you, you Pharisees!” Again, I’m not making light of anyone’s brokenness—or anyone’s hypocrisy for that matter! I dare not make light of anything God takes so seriously. To borrow an adjective from my friend Lisa Koons (director of the Charlotte 24-7 Prayer Room), the human condition is just so “jacked up”. With the use of that simple street-slang descriptor, Lisa sealed my fate as to which slice of the Synchroblog cake I would take—and, simultaneously, she gave me the title for this post.

“Jacked UP”! If I read the Sermon on the Mount with a grain of discernment, what I’m discerning is that the answer to my “jacked up” condition is to encounter “down”…as in “lay it down”. Granted, “down” doesn’t always present itself negatively in our conversations, but how many times have you heard the following phrases?

“That’s a real downer…I’m having a nervous breakdowndown in the dumps…Well, you can go down with the ship if you want to, but I’m getting out of here…Hey, stop putting her down…It’s going to be your downfall…The conversation went downhill from there…”.

In the presence of a culture chasing “up”, I need to be reminded that Jesus calls me to lay my life down in order to take it up again. I need to be reminded of the outcry of the heart (nearly three decades ago) when, in a time of intense personal brokenness and pain, I read the 51st Psalm and wept, “Lord teach me to embrace pain if it will draw me nearer to you!” I need to be reminded of the dangerous and daunting prayer I uttered little more than one decade ago: “Lord, teach me what it means to ‘die to self’…and help me mean this.” I need to be reminded that I, like Timothy, have an eternal destiny that was planned in Christ from before “In the beginning”—not because of anything I’ve done (as in “having my act together”), but because of grace!

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.  So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God,  who has saved us and called us to a holy life–not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”  2 Timothy 1:7-10

I need to be reminded that I might not look “fixed” in the eyes of the world—that what still appears “broken” in me may actually be God’s custom-tailored answer to a deeper and more dangerous brokenness: pride, boasting in my own works, ignoring God’s plan for me in pursuit of my own plan…any number of carnal temptations.

I need to be reminded that, while others may judge me harshly, according to my brokenness, the state in which I find myself may be a gift of “sight”.  What the world calls being put together is something even the very wicked can often accomplish, if only temporarily. Yes, I walk with a limp…but my brokenness reminds me that He loves me enough to wrestle with me through the night, and that He blesses the one who doesn’t let go.

And, being reminded of all these things, I need to lay even my self-awareness down daily in order to become a help to you, as you are to me—and as we two shall be to our brothers and sisters—until Christ is formed in us…a mutual “funeral” for the “old creation” that plays itself out in a matrix of Kingdom relationships…dying and being reborn together as we are built together into a New Creation temple—God’s habitation on the earth, an expression of His Kingdom wherever we come together, that the world might know Him because they see Him in us.

While the online slang dictionaries offer definitions of “jacked up” ranging from what we do to the automobile so we can change a flat tire to more recent and “obscene” alternatives, the most accurate interpretation offered by Urbandictionary[dot]com must unarguably be “not working properly or as intended”.

From the moment Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, humanity simply has not been “working properly or as intended”.  Top that for “obscenity”! Imagine…a species created in God’s image…a species into which (as we read in Genesis) the Creator breathed His own breath of life…and yet here we are—“all jacked up”.  The solution is to “lay it down” and He loved us enough to set the example…Personally. He intervenes on our behalf. He redeems. He “makes new”.

We can affirm moral absolutes—they do exist—and still not reap life! We can stand squarely in the center of doctrinal orthodoxy and miss the point! We can muster all eloquence (the tongues of men AND angels) and profess the highest of ideals…build magnificent edifices…design programs…write books…raise our hands high in worship…work hard and make a “success” of ourselves (and proudly say “to God be the glory”—even though God already has all the glory and it’s impossible for us to add to it) …and still be just as “jacked up” as Cain was when he murdered his brother.

But here’s some good news: reading the Sermon on the Mount with my “jacked up” understanding, I still get the idea that the people who realize they are “all jacked up” may well be standing in the front of the line when it comes to entering the Kingdom.

Do not let the downtrodden be put to shame; let the poor and needy praise your name. (Psalm 74:21 NRS)

The Lord lifts up the downtrodden; he casts the wicked to the ground. (Psalm 147:6)


If you enjoyed reading this post, I invite you to join “the other voice in my head” at “my other blog”.  I took a second piece of cake in a piece entitled “How Low Can We Go?”.

More importantly, PLEASE visit the fifteen other writers who tackled the October topic—“Down We Go”:


  1. Scarlett Daugherty says:

    Very good Word and thoughts. Excellent in fact!

  2. Another great post. Especially that idea about realizing we are jacked up. I think we often get it backwards, and feel like we have to work our way up into a spiritual state of humility, so that when we arrive there, we can be truly spiritual.

    How backwards! We don’t work our way up. We just take an honest assessment of ourselves, realizing jacked up we really are. Great reminder.

  3. “Jacked up…” 🙂
    I don’t like that. I resemble it, but I don’t like it. Of course, I’m not working as intended because I jack myself up, trying to make myself higher/above everyone else.


    • Alan, do you believe Akismet sent your comment to SPAM–the first time a “legitimate” comment has ever been sidelined? “It had to be you…”. Maybe the WordPress spam Gestapo knows something I don’t? 😉
      I love it. As for “jacked up”… I resemble it too. And we all know you are “higher” than we are because it’s your authori-taaay. 😉 Love it, brother!

  4. Leah – Thanks for this post and the reminder that we are all broken beings who want and need to be loved and accepted – not only by God but by each other.

  5. Fantastic post. I love how the Lord continuasly reminds me how I’m still a broken person, and I must daily reconnect. The older I get, the more I realize how much about the Lord I don’t know. I can change viewpoints twice in a day sometimes. And I just hope I can stay “broken” and depend only on Jesus our Lord. True, I’m no longer in the squalor of my former self, but I should never think I’ve arrived. The minute I do that, I nullify all the years of training the Lord has put me through. Sorry for the diarrhea of the keyboard. 😉

    • I wouldn’t give you Imodium if you begged me, Anthony! That change of view points in a day –not necessarily contradictory but like different “personalities”– is why I have two blogs. 🙂 I don’t believe we have to wallow in our brokenness…but we all need to stay enough “in touch” with it to remain in dependence on him. You and I are fortunate to have received the lesson even if we bomb a test now and then. We are already new creations. Father already sees us “in Christ”…we have to learn what that means and it will eventually begin to look like we “get it”. If you’ve never read Hannah Hurnard’s book Hinds’ Feet on High Places you might want to get your hands on a copy…and a box of tissue by the time you are 1/3 of the way into the book (if not sooner).

      • I read that book in my early walk in Christ. I just recently reread “Practicing the Presence of Christ” by Brother Larry. Book like that keep me humble.

      • Ah Yessss! Brother Lawrence. Definitely a fine addition to “the believer’s basic bookshelf”…My copy has gone missing…wrong bookshelf, likely. But I think of Larry when I peel potatoes and know that the Presence is the same yesterday, today and forever. The same where you are as where I am…and in Him we live and …move…and…well, I’m sure you KNOW, Ant.

      • In fact.if you’d like a new rendition, updated in modern English, there is “Closer than a Brother”, by David Winter. It has Brother Lawrence as a dish washer at an old age home, and he rents a ram shackle room. It’s the same story, but a new twist. I like it a lot!

      • On the wish list… husband says to 15-year-old son “You mother will have me pushing the wheelbarrow full of her books to the poorhouse, you know.” ;). I hint “Kindle” at every gifting occasion. It won’t take as much room in the wheelbarrow. It would be neat to wash dishes in an old folks home as long as I don’t drop the Kindle into the water.

      • I got the Kindle for my birthday in June… I gt the $115 one, NOW it’s $70….It’s def worth the price

  6. Very powerful post, Leah. So much brokenness and we all try to hide it. And, more often than not, we don’t see past the brokenness to each other’s hearts. I agree, we all need an eye-exam! God bless!

    • Thank you, Tammy. When we recognize that our strength is in what He has done to make us a New Creation we can be built together into an expression of Christ. Your yielded heart welded to those of your brothers and sisters in Christ becomes an altar of praise. He takes the rough stones and fits the together into His temple and makes His dwelling in our midst. I treasure the time you took to read and comment, sister! Let’s keep reclaiming the territory and proclaiming the Kingdom. Our Redeemer lives!

  7. thanks for the other participants code I just copied and pasted into my post and thanks for visiting my blog. may peace be with us all…


  1. […] Randall – Jacked Up–my “other […]

  2. […] Leah Randall at Journal From Jarapeth – “Jacked Up” […]

  3. […] Leah Randall – Jacked Up […]

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